5 16

01-02-2010, 05:37 PM #451
Zanaril
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location:
England
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
I think so.

The girl with the ponytail makes me think of O-Chul x Miko, but I can't picture Miko getting laid, for some reason…
Maybe the gods themselves appeared and told her 'look, you really need to unwind. Go to a party, have a drink. Talk to that nice memetic-level paladin surrounded by all the fangirls and say yes to anything he asks.'

…Nah, she's never believe they were really her gods.
__

Spoiler

01-02-2010, 05:38 PM #452
Yiuel
Dwarf in the Playground

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location:
Sevy, Melville
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
I thought the pony-tailed chick would be as obvious as the others, but it seems not.
__
Beware the many wrong things in this spoiler!
Spoiler

01-02-2010, 05:43 PM #453
Meg
Orc in the Playground

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location:
Minnesota, ya?
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Is she Belkar and Jenny's daughter? Cuz he's the only one I don't see represented there.
__

…And that is how I met your father.

That's my dragon egg. Wanna argue about it?

Avatar by me. Also, if we go anywhere together, you're walking in front of me.

01-02-2010, 05:44 PM #454
Cracklord
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Sorry to distract, but while I struggle for inspiration, I would like to draw attention to a long neglected thing done on threads like this.
Prompts.
Basically, you get given fifty words, and have to write a sentence or two about your chosen pairing for each one.
__

Rip Van Winkle Avatar by Ninja Chocobo, whose warhead shall punish all without distinction.

01-02-2010, 05:50 PM #455
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Fiddler
Right now you are down and out, and feelin' really crappy…

Coffee, you just became twice as cool in my book if this is indeed the Schadenfreude you're talking about.
Yes. Yes I am.

*Sings* Straight-A students getting Bs, exes getting STDs!
__
My webcomic!

Last edited by CoffeeIncluded : 01-02-2010 at 05:52 PM.

01-02-2010, 06:31 PM #456
MReav
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location:
Montreal
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Here's Shojo/Belkar

Spoiler
It was a temperate mid-winter morning amid the great equatorially placed City of the Southern Lands known as Azure City. A halfling of diminutive size and intellect, atop a pair of stilts and garbed in the telltale cloak of a Sapphire Guard paladin. He approached the throne room and addressed the Paladin identified as O-Chul.

"I seek an audience with Lord Shojo, master of Azure City and its surrounding territories. I have a pre-existing appointment."

"Yes, the schedule confirms the validity of your statement" O-Chul, a man of few words, simply replied.

"Then allow me private access such that I may converse with our master, such that I may have reassurance of our respective goals, oh paladin with whom I share membership with." Belkar said in a slight mocking tone.

O-Chul, not an unwise man, had always suspected something was irregular with the strange paladin that stayed with the adventuring band known as The Order of the Stick, but his train of thought was abruptly interrupted by the calls of his seemingly senile lord. "Mr Scruffy, our 10 o'clock temporary companion has arrived. Do you wish to greet him with an endowment of salt water Acipenseridae? O-Chul, please secure the barricade, for Mr. Scruffy desires privacy."

O-Chul, endlessly frustrated with his master's peculiarities but nonetheless loyal and upholding of the legislations of Azure City, obliged and let the disguised halfling entrance.

Upon confirming the door's security, Lord Shojo halted the act and greeted the despicable halfling with a warm tone, one refined by decades of experience in dealing with those with whom he had little desire to have extended contact with.

"Unwanted burden of Sir Greenhilt, what is it that you wish to inconvenience my existence with?" Lord Shojo inquired politely, confident that he could survive any assault the halfling could lay upon him long enough for the Mark of Justice engraved upon Belkar's head to incapacitate him and alarm the guards.

Steeling up something that he had been repressing for some time, he exhaled then spoke, "Please Master Shojo, I desire to be your concubine." Belkar begged the aged human.

Surprised and disturbed at this proclamation of lust, Shojo backed slightly away from the miniature hormone driven ranger, then stammered out, "I am flattered, violent, impulsive and libidinous wretch of a sentient being and shame of the Bitterleaf clan, but I cannot accept your offer of sexual vassalage."

Agonized by the rejection, Belkar sulked, then inquired to the nature of it, "But why not? It is what I desire more than anything I can conceive of in this primitive lump of neurons lodged in my cerebellum."

Calling upon his endless skill in subterfuge and machinations used to keep a force of paladins and an active nobility seeking to usurp his power in the dark of his mental faculties, he stated to the lecherous halfing in the hopes of assuaging him in case he disregards the risk of the curse laid upon him meant to prevent him from inducing bodily harm upon living entities, "Um… although I am flattered at your declaration of concubinage, I have dedicated my life to celibacy, for fear that my enemies try to use my sexual proclivities against me. As well, my age, though not significant amongst other species, is considered very advanced for humans, and the stress of running Azure City under so many layers of deception has weakened my cardiovascular system as well as my capacity for maintaining erection. I fear I could not be an acceptable partner in such a situation. And lastly, among humans, I individuals of your stature are typically children, and conjugal interaction with the young is universally considered taboo, even among the savage humanoids. I know that ogres will bludgeon to death pederasts. I apologize, but a relationship with you cannot happen." The truth was much simpler. Lord Shojo preferred heterosexual consummation exclusively, and even if he did not, Belkar was a disgusting and horrific individual that any degree of familiarity would make sexual liaison with him far too disturbing to be desirable.

Distraught, the abhorrent entity known as Belkar donned again his garb meant to distract local authorities from his true identity, then proceeded to douse his sorrows in intoxicating beverages and women of loose morals. And so concludes the tale of the failed relationship betwixt Lord Shojo and Belkar Bitterleaf.


Vaarsuvius, I think ye need to admit yer theory was flawed.
__
Proud resident of the village of LICKMYORANGEBALLSHALFLING.
"No seriously, give 'em a good once over."
Mini-Miko by me. Proud Meme Writer of the O-Chul fan club. Chief Arbiter of the Trial by Sanctified Pudding Arena of the O-Chul Harem.

01-02-2010, 06:35 PM #457
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by MReav
Here's Shojo/Belkar

Spoiler
I liked the end of it. That was a nice (And funny!) twist.
__
My webcomic!

01-02-2010, 07:24 PM #458
Water-Smurf
Orc in the Playground

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location:
Among the spiders
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
This post is going to be short because my brother is doing college applications and needs the Internet as soon as he's done with dinner.

I wanted to say that my Christmas present is still valid for anyone who wants to request something until my school starts again. And speaking of requests, I'm almost done with the first one.

I'm saving any replies I have for the next post after my brother's done.
__

Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.

01-02-2010, 07:50 PM #459
Kyronea
Dwarf in the Playground

Join Date: Mar 2009
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oooohaloophole
Actauly whenever I fantazize about torture and murder its like whenever you read one of those fanfics. If haley has a Bisectuality hiding in the corner then I have madness.
Anyway my next planned plan has to do with skellotens liches and the TV show "He Man"

S
If I may say, you are beginning to seriously disturb me.
__

01-02-2010, 07:53 PM #460
Discord
Bugbear in the Playground

Join Date: May 2009
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Haha, MReav, your story was hilarious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher
Is she Belkar and Jenny's daughter? Cuz he's the only one I don't see represented there.
I thought about that too, but I don't see any family resemblance, though Belkar's child being a monk is certainly amusing considering OtOoPCs…
__
Avatar by irohane.

01-02-2010, 08:16 PM #461
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Hey guys, I think I found a new recruit!
__
My webcomic!

01-02-2010, 08:21 PM #462
Kyronea
Dwarf in the Playground

Join Date: Mar 2009
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Water-Smurf
This post is going to be short because my brother is doing college applications and needs the Internet as soon as he's done with dinner.

I wanted to say that my Christmas present is still valid for anyone who wants to request something until my school starts again. And speaking of requests, I'm almost done with the first one.

I'm saving any replies I have for the next post after my brother's done.
Hmm…I think I'd like to see a cheerful family scene with Tiasel, Redcloak, and Vaarsuvius all together happy.
__

01-02-2010, 08:28 PM #463
Discord
Bugbear in the Playground

Join Date: May 2009
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded
Hey guys, I think I found a new recruit!
I don't get it.

Anyway, I managed to whip up some writing. It's very short, more of an intro to a story I'll never write than anything, which means I haven't cried too much.

Spoiler
__
Avatar by irohane.
Last edited by Discord : 01-03-2010 at 03:21 AM.

01-02-2010, 08:32 PM #464
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
I don't get it.

Anyway, I managed to whip up some writing. It's very short, more of an intro to a story I'll never write than anything, which means I haven't cried too much.

Spoiler
So, how much did Haley and V drink the previous night?

Seriously, Discord, I don't know why you think your writing is so horrible!

I mean that I showed one of my friends this site and one of my crack pairings.

She LOVED it.

She's considering joining once she reads the OOTS archive.

She likes to write and draw manga, she's a nerd, and I found some yaoi in one of her sketchbooks.

So, she'll fit in perfectly here!
__
My webcomic!

Last edited by CoffeeIncluded : 01-02-2010 at 08:33 PM.

01-02-2010, 08:33 PM #465
Kyronea
Dwarf in the Playground

Join Date: Mar 2009
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
I don't get it.

Anyway, I managed to whip up some writing. It's very short, more of an intro to a story I'll never write than anything, which means I haven't cried too much.

Spoiler
It's also quite well written…and now has me wondering just what happened to land V in bed with Haley.

Really, please write more.
__

01-02-2010, 08:33 PM #466
Discord
Bugbear in the Playground

Join Date: May 2009
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyronea
It's also quite well written…and now has me wondering just what happened to land V in bed with Haley.
Haha, I'm wondering too.

Quote:
Really, please write more.
I might, if I find a plot I can weave long enough. And thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded
So, how much did Haley drink the previous night?

Seriously, Discord, I don't know why you think your writing is so horrible!

I mean that I showed one of my friends this site and one of my crack pairings.

She LOVED it.

She's considering joining once she reads the OOTS archive.

She likes to write and draw manga, she's a nerd, and I found some yaoi in one of her sketchbooks.

So, she'll fit in perfectly here!
Ah, yes, you mentioned her as well as your other friend.

I actually don't think my writing is horrible, it's just that, for some reason, writing hurts me.
__
Avatar by irohane.
Last edited by Discord : 01-02-2010 at 08:53 PM.

01-02-2010, 08:34 PM #467
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
Ah, yes, you mentioned her as well as your other friend.

I actually don't think my writing is horrible, it's just that, for some reason, writing hurts me.
Why does it?

And isn't it perfect? She's already got the mindset!
__
My webcomic!

Last edited by CoffeeIncluded : 01-02-2010 at 08:34 PM.

01-02-2010, 08:36 PM #468
Discord
Bugbear in the Playground

Join Date: May 2009
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Like I implied with "for some reason," I actually don't know why. Maybe it's just winter. This season tends to depress people.

Aw, what fun is there if the mind is not innocent? You can't corrupt the already tainted!
__
Avatar by irohane.

01-02-2010, 08:44 PM #469
MReav
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location:
Montreal
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded
I liked the end of it. That was a nice (And funny!) twist.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
Haha, MReav, your story was hilarious.
Thanks. My favorite is the O-Chul line.
__
Proud resident of the village of LICKMYORANGEBALLSHALFLING.
"No seriously, give 'em a good once over."
Mini-Miko by me. Proud Meme Writer of the O-Chul fan club. Chief Arbiter of the Trial by Sanctified Pudding Arena of the O-Chul Harem.

01-02-2010, 08:46 PM #470
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
Like I implied with "for some reason," I actually don't know why. Maybe it's just winter. This season tends to depress people.

Aw, what fun is there if the mind is not innocent? You can't corrupt the already tainted!
Trust me on this one. She's not that tainted. I would know.

And I hope you get better soon.
__
My webcomic!

Last edited by CoffeeIncluded : 01-02-2010 at 08:47 PM.

01-02-2010, 08:54 PM #471
Discord
Bugbear in the Playground

Join Date: May 2009
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Thanks.

Haha, she's not tainted enough until she starts shipping incest I guess? (I'm looking at you, Zanie. )

Hm, I wonder if V's children are one boy and one girl…
__
Avatar by irohane.
Last edited by Discord : 01-02-2010 at 08:56 PM.

01-02-2010, 08:57 PM #472
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
Thanks.

Haha, she's not tainted enough until she starts shipping incest I guess? (I'm looking at you, Zanie. )

Hm, I wonder if V's children are one boy and one girl…
Okay, that's too far, even for me.

She told me that that stuff makes her feel physically ill. I don't blame her.
__
My webcomic!

Last edited by CoffeeIncluded : 01-02-2010 at 08:58 PM.

01-02-2010, 08:58 PM #473
Meg
Orc in the Playground

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location:
Minnesota, ya?
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Well, shipping V's kids with each other may not be true incest. They are adopted, after all.

EDIT: And Discord, I enjoyed your story as well.
__

…And that is how I met your father.

That's my dragon egg. Wanna argue about it?

Avatar by me. Also, if we go anywhere together, you're walking in front of me.

Last edited by Meg : 01-02-2010 at 08:59 PM.

01-02-2010, 09:05 PM #474
Discord
Bugbear in the Playground

Join Date: May 2009
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Yeah, that's more for the House of Horrors than for here. Incest doesn't sit well with me either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CheeseMuncher
And Discord, I enjoyed your story as well.

__
Avatar by irohane.

01-02-2010, 09:08 PM #475
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
Yeah, that's more for the House of Horrors than for here. Incest doesn't sit well with me either.
You know, one of the yaoi pictures that I remember from her sketchbook might make for good inspiration…

She had gotten two guys into ballroom dresses and had one sweeping the other off of his feet with a suggestive grin, while holding a rose in his mouth.
__
My webcomic!

Last edited by CoffeeIncluded : 01-02-2010 at 09:09 PM.

01-02-2010, 09:23 PM #476
Discord
Bugbear in the Playground

Join Date: May 2009
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Haha, but I'm not actually interested in slash (fem or otherwise).

Anyway, remember Haley's "I kissed a girl once - okay, okay, more than once!"? What if we mixed that up with, say, her discovering that V was a girl?
__
Avatar by irohane.
Last edited by Discord : 01-02-2010 at 09:24 PM.

01-02-2010, 09:26 PM #477
CoffeeIncluded
Ogre in the Playground

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location:
New York
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
Haha, but I'm not actually interested in slash (fem or otherwise).

Anyway, remember Haley's "I kissed a girl once - okay, okay, more than once!"? What if we mixed that up with, say, her discovering that V was a girl?
No, I'm saying that perhaps that image could be applied in some way.

*Grins and nods*
__
My webcomic!

01-02-2010, 09:42 PM #478
half-halfling
Dwarf in the Playground

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location:
Poland
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Here's my new picture -Haley x Duct Tape Thing from Water-Smurf's story

Spoiler

I wanted to draw full battle scene to creature's death , but it's arleady nearly 5 AM in here and I'm veeery sleepy . I really liked Water-Smurf's story (and others too) ,and Zanaril's drawing of VxTsukiko was awesome too. I also really liked Your comic, Coffe . Can't wait for more.
< yawns loudly >
Goodnight, I'm going to bed now
__
Spoiler

01-02-2010, 09:49 PM #479
Yiuel
Dwarf in the Playground

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location:
Sevy, Melville
Gender:
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discord
I thought about that too, but I don't see any family resemblance, though Belkar's child being a monk is certainly amusing considering OtOoPCs…
Well, I decided to go straight and have Belkar die childless.

But I really thought some people among you would get the Monk reference (see last panel). It seems I have made a mistake.

Since someone already did the obviously implied pairing (Durkon/Lien), and I am sure, from reading what has been done here, that a crackpairing involving the two adoptive children of our beloved V seems a bit too squicky even for this thread… I might perhaps have fun describing the crackpairing of the highly hypothetic children of Roy/Celia and Elan/Haley I imagined. (Keeping in mind that the girl does look much like Elan, for the purpose of more squickiness for Roy…)
__
Beware the many wrong things in this spoiler!
Spoiler

01-02-2010, 10:01 PM #480
Discord
Bugbear in the Playground

Join Date: May 2009
Re: Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy
Lemme guess, Elan's daughter is a cleric of Banjo, right?

Very good comic, half-halfling.
__
Avatar by irohane.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License