Vaarsuvius/IFCC

Vaarsuvius woke up in the Abyss. Or rather, the elf's soul woke up in the Abyss.

"I guess I died in that explosion…And the demons have come to collect their debt. I will be able to endure this for the half-hour or so that I am indebted to them. And I am sure Sir Greenhilt has purchased other diamonds as well."

The IFCC appeared in front of Vaarsuvius.

"You've got it?"

"Right here. Play it." The third took out some sort of machine and pressed a button on it. Vaarsuvius closed hir eyes, expecting the worst pain imaginable and then some.

Instead…

Please allow us to introduce ourselves
We are men of wealth and taste
We've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

And we were 'round when Lord Shojo
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Miyazaki
Drew her sword and sealed his fate

"You what?!"

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess our names
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of our game

"Well, yes, it is quite a conundrum, but—"

We stuck around Azure City
When we saw it was a time for a change
Killed Shojo and the noblemen
Prince Hinjo screamed in vain

"But you just said that—"

We rode a dragon
in the general's rank
When the battle raged
And the bodies stank

Vaarsuvius clutched hir head in pain from the memories. "You—"

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess our names, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of our game, oh yeah

"I believe I already stated that—"

We watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten centuries
For the gods they made

We shouted out,
"Who killed the Black Dragons?"
When after all
It was you and us

"Please do not remind me of—

Let us please introduce ourselves
We are men of wealth and taste
And we laid traps for hobgoblins
Who get killed before they reach old age

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed our names, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of our game, oh yeah, get down, baby

"I refuse toWuh! Unhand me, you infernal"

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed our names, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of our game

"Must you constantly repeat that?!"

Just as every paladin is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call us Lucifer
'Cause we're in need of some restraint

So if you meet us
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, have some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or we'll lay your soul to waste, mmm yeah

"…"

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed our names, mmm yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of our game, mmm mean it, get down

Tell us baby, what's our names
Tell us honey, can ya guess our names
Tell us baby, what's our names
We tell you one time, you're to blame

"………….."

===
"Resurrection!"

Vaarsuvius awoke in hir proper body this time, surrounded by the rest of the order. The elf coughed a couple of times then drew hir legs around hir knees in a fetal position.

"Vaarsuvius! Are you okay?"

"…I do not wish to talk about it."

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