Haley and Vaarsuvius stood somewhere inside a tent, next to all the things they had bought.
"Right. While the guys are out getting some food, let's check whether we have everything, V."
"I am quite sure I have got everything I need, Haley."
"Yes. But let's check anyway. We don't want to discover we're missing some essential component in the middle of nowhere."
"Besides…", Haley glanced at some of the sacks standing next to them, "I am not sure whether the guys put everything neatly into those sacks. Guys can be quite messy from that point of view."
"…I guess you're right." V acquiesced.
So they set off checking everything in the sacks, folding clothes and sorting items along the way. Soon they realized they indeed had everything they needed, from food and water to spare arrows, cloaks, and maps. They also realized the guys indeed weren't very good at storing things. A fat piece of cheese wrapped in a map, that kind of thing. And…
"What is this?"
Haley raised an eyebrow, as she lifted a small phial out of the sack holding various potions. The phial contained some kind of viscuous pink liquid. Haley handed it to V, who, after scrutinizing it, handed it back.
"I must say that I have no clue."
"Here", Haley pointed at the bottom of the phial, "the price is still attached. It's from the magical components shop. You must have taken it by accident after that row."
"…I honestly cannot remember."
"Hmm…this is strange." Haley held the phial in the light in front of V's head. "Look, it's almost like this stuff is made from little pink fishes with a sweeping tail. Kinda like tadpoles…"
Actually, Vaarsuvius knew very well what it was. In a moment of weakness after receiving the divorce papers, V had spotted the love potion sitting in a small basket, and had shamefully stolen it. With it, at the moment V had had the faintest hope to bring Kyrie's love back. Foolish, of course, and on second thought very selfish. V believed to have disposed of it, but must have put it in the sack in a moment of inattention. V now saw how Haley popped open the phial.
"You think I could take a whiff of this without consequences?" Haley asked.
A now alarmed V had to restrain hirself from panicking and snatching the phial out of Haley's hand. Thinking quickly, V came upon a solution, and managed a "No, let me try. With my wizardly training I am more immune than you to potential unhealthy consequences." while carefully taking the open phial from Haley.
V knew this was total and utter horse, but hoped that hir temperament would at least prevent hir from feeling too attracted to Haley. If Haley sniffed it, her feelings for the elf might cause her to…V realized such thoughts were inappropriate at the moment, and quickly cleared hir mind. V brought the phial to hir nose, and inhaled.
The love potion's perfume was sweetish and saltish at the same time, and had immediate effect. First the world seemed more pink, as all colors took a strange extra shine. Smells were sweeter, and the temparature seemed higher. Haley. Ooh Haley. She looked marvelous. V gazed over her delicious curves, glanced at her delicate and enticing chest, and watched as her silk-smooth hair waved in the wind.
"V?" Haley looked at Vaarsuvius, who stared strangely at her. She felt incomfortable.
Then V saw hir mate, Kyrie, float into hir vision. Kyrie did not wear hir regular clothes, but was stark naked, and V could see all the gorgeous details of hir body, feel how Kyrie reacted to V's fingers running over the beautiful white skin of hit torso. As the floating image of Kyrie superimposed itself on Haley's pretty figure, V stepped towards hir friend, stretched out an arm, grabbed Haley's shoulder, and pulled her closer. With the phial still in hir hand, V began caressing Haley's face.
"V!" Haley shouted, and tried to get out of the elf's embrace. V was behaving strangely, and had a far-away look in hir eyes. Haley only succeeded in causing V's hand to slip off her shoulder, onto one of her breasts. She quickly flustered.
"V, what do you think you are doing?!?" Haley growled.
V reeled back from the hit, and finally came back to hir senses. "Wuh?!? What?!? Huh?!? What did I do?". Then the memories came rushing in, and V had to steady hirself to avoid drowning in whatever had just possessed hir again. V slowly began to realize just how powerful the potion was…
Just then, the side of the tent was violently thrown open, and Durkon came running in. He was scratched and bruised and sweating profusely.
"Aw, lassies, a palmtree is fighting me and just doesn't understand when enough's enough!", he bellowed. "Thor's Might!" And Durkon grew to colossal proportions.
"Now I need all health potions we have! Don't worry, lassies, I'll buy new ones when I'm done."
With these words, Durkon grabbed all the health potions. Something that had been nagging V's mind since some time already suddenly became clear. The love potion…looked very similar to a health potion. In slow-motion V saw how Durkon began ingesting potions one after the other, popping potions open, bringing them to him mouth, and gulping them down. One. After. The. Other. And then came the fatal one, the love potion, of course.
Vaarsuvius watched in horror as the pink potion flushed into Durkon's mouth, and shouted: "Durkon, noooooooooo!". V covered hir face with hir hands.
There was a tearing sound, dust and bits of armor flew into the air, and the next thing V heard was "Is that a hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?".
V uncovered hir eyes, and glanced at the human woman. She had an unusually flirty expression on her face. And specks of pink on her cheek. V realized some of the love potion must have splattered onto Haley's face during the slap. This was turning out rather differently than V had hoped. Vaarsuvius then brought hir attention to Durkon. The dwarf towered above them. In more than one sense. V pronounced the only answer possible in such situations.