Tsukiko was pissed. That goblin was going to get his; she was going to make the most badass undead warrior ever. It was going to be free-willed and evil and mean, with cool black and red armor, and it’ll kill him and… she paused. That was a really stupid idea. Her hormones were getting the best of her; she needed release. There were a lot of dead Azurites lying around and she always carried her Girdle of Feminity/Masculinity™ and that guy with a halberd looked pretty good. She put on the GoF/M and cast animate dead. The zombie was going to give him brain.
Ten seconds later, Tsukiko realized that that was a really bad idea. He staggered away from the hungry zombie. It was temporarily appeased by her meat, but Tsukiko was already feeling woozy. He wasn’t thinking clearly when she cast create undead on the paladin, but it was better than waiting for the zombie to finish him off.
Miko awoke. There was a man next to her who seemed to be bleeding to death. For some reason she felt an overwhelming desire to help him; she began dragging him away from the zombie then she laid her hands upon him. She couldn’t wait to lay her hands upon him in a different way.
When Tsukiko woke up, his crotch wasn’t bleeding. Tsukiko looked around. He was in the middle of a plain and next to him was the paladin he’d turned into a wight. She was smiling broadly, “Hello master,” she said.
“Hello,” Tsukiko replied. He hadn’t really noticed before, but the paladin was hot. “Do you want to have sex?” Tsukiko asked.
“I thought you’d never ask,” the paladin replied.
Tsukiko pulled off his skirt. Then he remembered, “Ummm, my penis kind of got bitten off.” The paladin pouted. Tsukiko couldn’t stand to see her new friend pout. “But I do have this rod of enlarging,” she said. The paladin smiled.
“I’m the queen bee and I’m giving you my honey!” Tsukiko panted. Miko thought that was really hot.
The next morning, Tsukiko cast regenerate upon himself. He couldn’t wait to try out his new trouser titan, but first there was business. He called the paladin over. He had already carried out half of his plan, he might as well bring it to fruition. “Whack Redcloak,” he said.
Miko wasn’t sure why her new master wanted her to seduce Redcloak, but it wasn’t her job to question orders. She’d done that once and all it had gotten her was ex-paladin status.
She was going to whack Redcloak.
Redcloak pretty proud of himself. He hadn’t taken the gate, but at least he’d finally wiped out the Sapphire Guard. How could this day get any better? His door fell down and in walked Miko Miyazaki, ex-paladin of the Sapphire Guard. Redcloak grabbed his phylactery. But he noticed something; her face was pale and her eyes were red. And her armor was red and black.
“I’m here to have sex with you, Mr. Redcloak,” she said. Redcloak smiled.
When Tsukiko entered Redcloaks chamber, she expected to see either Redcloak or the paladin dead. What she hadn’t expected to find was Redcloak lying next to Miko with a cigarette in his hands. “WTF? Rebuke undead!” she shouted. Miko began cowering in the corner.
“Wait!” Redcloak shouted, “I think there’s a mutually beneficial solution.”
Miko and Tsukiko and Redcloak then had a threesome. And then Xykon joined. Then the Monster in the Darkness joined too. It was hott.