The Guy With the Halberd/Demon Roaches/Hydra

The Guy With the Halberd ran. He ran as fast as he could, scrambling past rocks and leaping over ledges. He knew that if he stopped, he was going to die. Why was he going to die?

Because there was a Hyrda chasing him, of course.

While out on a scouting mission, he'd stumbled across a Hyrda. He'd tried to hold it off, but his might Halberd could only do so much. It had been no match against the monster, and all he had accomplished was giving it a nice set of 3 rather hungry heads. He was now forced to flee from the Hyrda in hopes that perhaps he could outrun it, and he probably would have outrun it eventually, if he had not run into a dead end amongst several rocky cliffs.

Turning to face the Hyrda, The Guy With the Halberd brandished his weapon. If he was going to die, he was going to die with honor. He opened his mouth to yell a challenge to the fiend, but it interupted him with a loud roar. It hurled itself through the air, and tackled him to the ground with ease. The Guy With the Halberd screamed as the horrible realization hit him. The Hyrda hadn't been hungry at all!

It was just really, really horny…


Hours later, The Battered, Bruised, And Emotionally Scarred Guy With the Halberd staggered through the wastelands, his armor dented in many places and his eyes distant with trauma. He was so out of it that he didn't realize that he'd staggered right past a very confused Lich and a Goblin with a red cloak and an arched eyebrow. Naturally, after everything he'd been through, he wasn't going to put up much of a fight…

"So, what do we do with him?" Redcloak asked Xykon later on back at their evil base of villainy.

"Hm…" Xykon scratched his jawbone in wonder as he stared at the bound form of The Guy With the Halberd, who was now twitching and muttering something to himself about there being too many heads… "I say we just do what we did with the last prisoner…"

"But sir… don't you think that's a bit… cruel?" Redcloak gasped in horror.

"You know, maybe it is…" Xykon sighed.

Three seconds of silence later, the two villains began to cackle insanely. "To the roaches!" both bad guys yelled in unison as they opened up a trap door and dropped The Guy With the Halberd into it.



"Ow! Something landed on me! Oh… Hey, I think we got a fresh one!" a small voice chirped from under The Guy With the Halberd, who slowly began to regain his wits after the hard impact with the floor.

"Hold on, lemme get a light…" Suddenly, the lights flicked on, and The Guy With the Halberd found himself staring at thousands of tiny red insects, which all turned to stare at him. In the corner of the room, a small orb of bright, golden light appeared to be rocking back and forth in a cage.

"Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place!" Roy's Archon was gibbering to himself, trying to block out what he knew was about to happen.

As the lights flicked off and the room returned to darkness, The Guy With the Halberd began to scream. His screams were quickly drowned out by the skittering of all the Demon Roaches as they descended upon him.

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