It took Miko a few moments to get the hang of her new body. It was bad enough she'd forgotten how to walk, due to her time in the Afterlife. But now she had to get used to being nothing more than a skeleton. The weight difference between being a walking bone structure and an armored human was quite noticeable. In fact, she lacked more than just armor. She lacked clothes. "Why am I naked?" Miko suddenly inquired upon realizing that she was completely exposed.
"Well, technically, you're a skeleton. You can't be naked, because you don't have anything to… well… cover," Xykon shrugged. "Although, Redcloak gets uncomfortable when I don't wear my robes, and Tsukiko just stares at me with this weird look that creeps me out… But don't worry. We'll be getting you a nice new suit of armor, as well as a weapon, right after we introduce you to being Evil."
"I never completely said I'd be Evil…" Miko replied flatly. "I simply said I'd destroy the Order of the Stick."
"Whatever helps you sleep better at night…" Xykon rolled his eyes. "Oh wait, that's another thing. You can't sleep anymore. All you can really do is sit there in the dark, and wait…" (Demon Roach: Just like Chuck Norris!)
"No matter. Sleeping would only bring me guilt-ridden dreams…" Miko sighed.
"On the plus side, you never have to go to the bathroom again!" Xykon jovially exclaimed. "And you never get tired or hungry. Although, I do miss coffee… Siiiiiigh…"
"So I'm capable of staying awake forever, never having to stop and rest, nor do I require food to function? So in essence, I'm able to never give up the hunt, while my prey would eventually have to stop for sleep or food, giving me the chance to overtake and destroy them?" Miko scratched at her jaw, contemplating the possibilities. "Perhaps this does have its advantages…"
"I'll let Redcloak fill you in on more Team Evil stuff. I've got to go take notes on this…" Xykon gestured over towards the Cleric of the Dark One. "He'll tell you some other important stuff." And with that, Xykon headed over to his desk, where he began to scribble down notes on scrolls and complain to his Hobgoblin guards about how much not being able to drink coffee sucked.
"Oh goodie…" Miko rolled her eyes. Same side or not, she felt nothing short of mistrust and disdain for the Goblin. She walked over to him, crossed her arms, and awaited his response. "So, what information do you intend to taint my soul with?"
"Hmph…" Redcloak narrowed his eyes at her. "Glad to see you're so open to it… Anyway, here's some important information you may find helpfull. First of all, you'll find that Lawfull Evil is a more rewarding alignment than Lawfull Good. You have so many moral obligations and such to deal with when you're Good. With Evil, you can cut straight to the point. For example… There's a killer on the loose. You want to stop him, but if you capture him he might escape from prison before his trail. Or he might have an air-tight defense, and be able to get out with little or no time served. But the rules of being Good forbid you from killing him and serving justice directly. Not if you're Lawfull Evil…" Redcloak shook his head, and smirked. "When you're Lawfull Evil, you can find the killer, and then execute him on the spot. Its Evil because you killed him, but its Lawfull because you did it for the greater good, and justice was served. See what I'm talking about?"
"That does make some sense…" Miko shrugged. "But what if he was innoccent?"
"Everyone is guilty of something…" Redcloak smirked. "Being Lawfull Evil gives you the ability to punish everyone in the way they deserve, rather than what's legal. A muderer with a good defence can get out with barely any time served, especially if he makes a plea deal. Is that justice? According to the rules of being Lawfull Good, it is. What of the man who steals from an old woman, who then gets her house foreclosed because she couldn't pay the bill on time? Lawfull Good says he only gets a few years for the money he stole, but she's still responsible for not paying her bills like the rules required her too. Lawfull Evil says the man should pay for every ounce of suffering he caused that old woman, one way or another. If his life is the price he must pay, then the old lady gets a new place to live. And it all gets resolved much, much quicker. See… Isn't Lawfull Evil more… fair?"
"I do see some reason behind what you're saying…" Miko grumbled. "What else do you have to tell me?"
"For one thing, you have to change your perspective. Civilians are no longer innocent, only in the way. Heroes are no longer the good guys, only Experience Points. And underlings…" Redcloak looked over at Tsukiko, and nodded.
"Hey Xykon!" Tsukiko exclaimed, suddenly pulling a dagger from behind her back. "Catch!"
"Dowhatnow?" Xykon looked over his shoulder, slightly confused. He suddenly realized that there was a dagger flying across the room at him. "Gah!" With quick reflexes, he reached out and grabbed one of his Hobgoblin bodyguards, and held him out in front of him as a human shield.
"HRUK!!" was the noise the Hobgoblin made as the dagger imbedded itself between his eyes. ((Demon Roach: Oh Grark! We will never forget your heroic sacrifice! (Demon Roach: Wasn't his name Klorn? (Demon Roach: Pssh, I don't remember…)
Xykon tossed the dead underling to the ground, and let out a small chuckle. "Well, I feel a little bit better about the coffee now…"
"Ahem…" Redcloak coughed, regaining a mortified Miko's attention. "Underlings are now expendable, and also serve as very good meat shields."
"But… but he was on your side!" Miko growled. "He did nothing wrong, except for serving you with loyalty!"
"Meh, he signed a waiver…" Tsukiko smirked. "Besides, it helps younger goblins move up the chain of command and feel important about themselves. It gives meaning to their short, pointless lives…"
"His family will be imbursed for his tragic death, and it will serve as inspiration for his son to make something out of himself like his father wanted him too, rather than sit around wasting his life. And besides…" Redcloak grinned. "Aren't all Hobgoblins just Evil monsters, and deserving of nothing short of death?"
Miko could only glare at the Goblin. She dared not admit, especially to Redcloak, that she'd seen the Hobgoblin as anything more than an Evil blight upon this world. Finally, she growled: "So when do I get my new equipment?"
"Ah yes, Tsukiko will show you to the armory…" Redcloak nodded towards the young Necromancer. "I trust you'll help her find what she needs?"
"I'll make sure she's taken care of!" Tsukiko waved happily.
"And keep it professional… " Redcloak muttered.
"Alright, alright…" Tsukiko frowned.
"Now then, off you go…" Redcloak waved them off. As the Death Knight and the Necromancer left the room, he walked over to Xykon and sighed. "Does Tsukiko ever disturb you, sir?"
"Oh yeah, all the time…" Xykon chuckled. "Freaks the undead crap out of me. But we're low on serious Villain Cliches around here, and we needed a Bad Guy who had a disturbing quirk about them. She fits the bill, as much as it weirds me out…"
"So… What do you think about Miko?" Redcloak arched an eyebrow.
"I think the experiment is working out very well thus far," Xykon nodded, contemplating his findings. "She's probably still got that Paladin Stick lodged up her non-existant rectum, though. But she'll come around eventually…"
"So we're not going to tell her that existing in the form of an evil creature, such as a Death Knight, will slowly corrupt her way of thinking, as well as her very soul, and gradually turn her completely Evil?" Redcloak asked, a horrified expression adorning his face.
"Nope…" Xykon shook his head, his eyes closed in a cheerfull manner.
"Excellent…" Redcloak grinned. "But what if she decides to be Good again, and attacks us? You know she's probably just trying to get us to lower our guard…"
"Oh, I know," Xykon nodded. "That's why I put a special Mark on the inside of her skull, where she won't be able to see it. All I have to do is say the code word, and she'll be paralyzed. I considered just making it sort of a "self-destruct" spell, but I'd hate to let a perfectly good corpse go to waste, even if the spirit inhabiting it is a bit hard to work with…"
"Ooooh… Wait, that doesn't sound like something you're normally allowed to do. How'd you pull that off?" Redcloak arched a confused eyebrow.
"The wonders of Homebrew…" Xykon grinned, holding up a handfull of handwritten notes.
"Aaaaah…" Redcloak nodded slowly, and then bowed. "I stand in the presence of a master…"
"Darn straight!" Xykon threw his hands in the air triumphantly.
"I just have one more question, though…" Redcloak scratched the side of his head. "Do you have anything inside of your skull?"
Xykon narrowed his eyes. "Nothing that concerns you…" And with that, he sat down and went back to his notes. Redcloak sat there a moment, shrugged, and then headed off to go see how Miko and Tsukiko were doing. Although, part of him dreaded the possibilities of what he might find…