Neither Vaarsuvius had time to respond, because the strange human emerged from the bedroom, shaking his dark hair out of his blue eyes. "Hey, I don't know what your problem is, but-" He stopped short at the sight of the two Vaarsuviui.
"There are two of you." He said this with the air of someone who, upon arriving late to their own birthday party, was informed that all of the cake had been eaten.
"Who are you?" said the second Vaarsuvius, at the same time that the first said, "No there are not!"
"Sure looks like there are two of you," he said, in the same, slightly wounded voice. "And I, am the Sorcerer Xykon." He said this with flourish, as if they should know this already, and were slightly stupid for not.
The first Vaarsuvius let out a shrill squawk, and the second glared, shouting, "First you steal my image, and then you sleep with my enemy using it?"
"I did not steal your image, Interloper! If anything, I should be reducing you to a pile of soot! I am a wizard, fiend!"
"You're a wizard?" Xykon's voice took on a chilly edge, but neither Vaarsuvius heard him. They were sizing each other up, looking for weaknesses. "Hey! Elf Chick! Look at me when I am talking to you!" He roughly grabbed what he thought was his Vaarsuvius by the shoulders, spinning the elf to face him.
"I am not a 'Chick!' You seek my doppleganger." spat the 2nd Vaarsuvius.
"Great. Just frickin' great. I manage to shack up with some freaky clone elf wizard chick. This is just freakin' spectacular." He released the male elf, and grabbed the female by the throat.
"I oughta break your neck." The shouting had attracted attention. All up and down the hall, tousled heads poked out of heavy oak doors, similar expressions of shock and horror on each face.