Vaarsuvius/Spock (Part 1)

First officer's log, Stardate: unknown
The encounter with the quantum barrier seems to have led to an unfortunate transporter accident; I have been stranded alone on an unidentified planet. Nearly all of the equipment seems to be in a state of malfunction as well. I have been forced to resort to primitive handwritten records. I have made several attempts to contact the Enterprise, but all have failed. Based on both the few sensor readings I have been able to take and the little information available on the exact nature of quantum barriers, I have begun to theorize that I have been transported to another dimension.


A rustle in the bushes caused the Vulcan to look up from the page he was writing on. He could here faint arguing voices, slowly growing louder as they got closer.

"Look, Roy, I know what you're thinking but c'mon! It's practically self-sustaining, and only mildly inhumane!"

"Bah! Without adressing the myriad moral issues that would, of course, be mere encouragement to your depraved soul, the idea itself is highly impractical. From whence would one obtain so many rutabagas in the first place?"

"Gods, will the two of you just shut up for a moment? Next time I'm trying to go on a stealth mission, I think I'll take the singing bard and the clanking dwarf."

"How is it my fault Ears can't -" Belkar broke off suddenly, sniffing the air a bit. "There's someone dead ahead. Elf, I think… no, maybe half-elf? Probably some sort of weird subrace or something." He began to reach for his daggers almost without thought, still sniffing a bit.

"You can stow the daggers, Belkar. I'm just going to go make a Diplomacy check or two, and see if we can get some better directions. The two of you stay here - gods know I need all the circumstance bonuses I can get."

The young man was only a few yards away, and Roy located him without trouble. Belkar had definitely gotten the elf part right, if the ears were any proof, but Roy couldn't think of a particular subrace with sharply angled eyebrows or unnaturally short, straight hair. The stranger's face was particularly unreadable; Roy hoped he could get a twenty.

"Hello, I'm an adventurer, and I was hoping you could give my party and I a bit of a hand. We, well, we happen to be a bit lost, and I was hoping maybe you could give us some directions to the nearest village?"

"An unfortunate coincidence. I happen to be facing the same difficulty as you are. Perhaps we could offer each other mutual aid?"

"So you're lost, too. Well, you might as well tag along. The forest around here's a bit dangerous for a single person." Roy held out a hand. "Name's Roy Greenhilt, human fighter. You are?"

"First Officer Spock of the Starship Enterprise. I do not suppose you can give me the name of this planet?"

Roy groaned audibly. And they had said it wasn't going to get too sci-fi!


"I think it's taking him too long."

"That is because you suffer from severe mental deficiencies including an attention span comparable to that of a housefly. It has been a mere one hundred and fifty-two seconds since Sir Greenhilt left us."

"How long does it take to give someone a few directions? Assuming it's not you, of course."

"Are you suggesting it would preferable to reconvene with the others having obtained incorrect data that would only serve to lead us more astray. I myself would think it better to be able to report back to Miss Starshine and the others with correct instructions. Besides, it is not as if Sir Greenhilt is likely to encounter any danger; you yourself said that it was another elf you detected, not a goblin or an orc."

"Yeah, but I didn't say what kind of elf. Not all of them are fluffy-unicorns-and-sunshine elves."

"You do have a point there. Some of my less savory kin are renowned for being nearly as violent and unpredictable as you are."

"See what I mean? I'm gonna go check it out." The halfling took off suddenly, with the startled elf giving chase, complaining all the while.


"So the majority of your planet is populated by humans as well? Fascinating. It appears as if I have indeed entered another dimension, then."

"Great. Well, we'll try and find you a high-level wizard or cleric who can spare you a Plane Shift - ours had to go and ban Conjuration."

"Perhaps you could explain in more detail this 'magic' practiced on your planet."

"You'd want to ask V about that -" Roy heard both Belkar's feet and Vaarsuvius' complaints just before it was too late, and managed to grab the tail of the halfling's cloak. "Belkar! Dammit, do you ever listen to anything I say?"

"What the hell took you so long, Greenhilt? Get lost asking for directions?" Belkar shot back.

"If you would cease exercising your extremely stale wit, perhaps you would be able to ascertain that Sir Greenhilt is not in any sort of danger, and once again, your superfluous conclusions have been summarily proven false, as I had expected they… would." Vaarsuvius, oddly enough, seemed to have lost interest in the spiel. Roy took it as a golden opportunity to get a word in edgewise.

"Spock, this is part of the rest of my party, Belkar and Vaarsuvius. Belkar and Vaarsuvius, Spock. He's some sort of space elf from another dimension or something."

"A simplified explanation, but basically correct. Apparently your world operates on some sort of magical system, which can possibly be employed to return me to to my own?"

"Another simplified explanation, once again the product of Sir Greenhilt, I might imagine. In fact, the magic that governs our world is a great and complex thing, not one which can be summarized by a mere spectator into the realm of the impossible." Vaarsuvius paused, looking suspicious. "Yet, truly, as an interloper into our very dimension, do you truly believe in it? If such a thing does not in your world, why would you accept it in another?"

"I have experienced several strange things in my own time. If what you say can be verified by scientific methods, I see no logical reason to doubt its truth."

"Well, now that we've agreed on that… Let's see if we can reconvene with the rest of the gang."

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License