First Officer's Log, Stardate: still unknown
I have decided to make an alliance with the adventuring party known as the Order of the Stick. They seem to be a fairly noble group, but I have serious concerns as to their efficiency. Nearly every member, including their leader, exhibits highly illogical behavior, and they quarrel almost constantly.
The world in which I have found refuge is highly unusual in its similarities to Earth. Several of its inhabitants refer to themselves as humans. However, there is also a large number of other sapient beings that I have never heard of before. There is also a strange sort of system to this world - there is constant talk of 'levels' and 'experience,' as if it was some mathematical force governing the entire universe. It is possibly related to the magic they claim to practice, which I plan to seek further data on. I have been offered instruction on this topic by the party's wizard, an 'elf' (query meaning of this term to captain) known as Vaarsuvius, who seems to be the most sensible of the six, and appears to belong to a species remarkably similar to my own. (Aside to the Captain, who, I am sure, will read this report - please do not make any personal remarks in your log on this topic. The ones concerning Lt. Uhura and myself are also unnecessary.)
"So you're from space? That is SO cool. What's it like in space? Do you wear a helmet and eat funny ice cream all the time? Is your planet one of the ice ones, or one of the fire ones?"
Spock had spent all day resisting the urge to sigh. The blonde human seemed to be enthralled with him; he certainly seemed curious. "As I have explained before, the ships in which we travel are entirely enclosed, so I may simply wear my uniform, and a replicator can provide food of any variety. As for my planet it is - or rather, it was - of varied climates, similar to Earth itself." He paused. He had no desire to discuss the loss of his home with anyone, much less the bard, but he was sure he was going to ask. The question was forming on his lips before Vaarsuvius interrupted.
"I believe it has reached the first burgeoning hours of twilight," said the elf, perhaps rather louder than was necessary. "It would be advisable to stop here for now, Sir Greenhilt."
"Great," replied a thankful Roy. It'd been a long day of walking, and Elan was rubbing on his last nerve, too. "Hey V, weren't you going to go over some magic with Spock or something?"
"Yes, I had planned on that. I believe it would be conductive to attempt this exercise some distance from the remainder of the party, based on the quantity of noise that usually ensues from any such activity. This way, Mr. Spock, if it pleases you."
The elf led them to a small clearing, and Spock took a seat on a convenient stump. Vaarsuvius was slightly amused to notice that he had pulled out his pencil and notebook again.
"So, it is your desire to learn to master the most mighty and complex of forces, that of magic, which governs over much of this world?"
"It would seem logical, yes."
"Very well, then. It is a difficult art, and not one which should be taken lightly. However, I shall make an endeavor to convey as much of my not inconsiderable knowledge as best I can, a lengthy task though it may be."
Vaarsuvius proceeded to do exactly that. It was indeed a lengthy task - two hours later, the elf was finally winding down, after having touched on topics stemming from basic magical theory to complex hypotheses of Vaarsuvius' own. And Spock had written it all down. Vaarsuvius was not so much amused as impressed. Still there was something else the elf wanted to ask about.
"Please forgive my intrusion into what I'm sure are extremely private matters, but I must ask you. Earlier I believed you described your planet using the past tense. Is there a particular reason behind this?"
"Yes," he replied, as calmly as before. "It was destroyed by a madman seeking revenge."
"Then I am extremely sorry for you. I as well nearly lost my family recently. It was through some… extremely questionable application of magic that they were saved."
"Then you were luckier than I was."
There was a pause. "Do you wish to continue the instruction tomorrow."
"Yes. I believe that would be the logical course of action."
Over the next few days, a pattern started to develop. Every evening, the two would walk off alone for Vaarsuvius' magic instructions. The elf was enthusiastic about the subject, and the Vulcan a fast learner. At last, the subject of practical lessons came up.
"I believe that it would be an advisable course of action for you to attempt actual spellcasting. It would at least act as a barometer for how far you have come in your knowledge."
"I had thought it took several years, even decades to master?"
"If one is a beginner, certainly. But one of the logical departures which this universe too often forces upon us, it is far easier for someone with past experience of any nature to master the control of this delicate art. Try a Dancing Lights spell." Vaarsuvius cast the spell easily, Spock watching carefully. The four pink lights danced in the fading sunset.
His own attempts were less successful; the words were easy enough, but the hand motions were fairly complicated. Vaarsuvius watched with a dissatisfied expression.
"Like this," said the elf firmly, grabbing the other's wrist, causing him to grow unusually still. Vaarsuvius ignored his reaction, moving his hand in the correct motions. The next attempt was more successful; four blinking blue lights joined the pink ones.
"Fascinating," he murmured, staring transfixedly at the lights. "It produces a most… unexpected sensation."
"You find it distasteful?"
"On the contrary, it is actually quite pleasurable."
There was a pause in the conversation. Vaarsuvius suddenly realized they were standing extremely close together. The lights seemed to reflect this, as they grew closer, shining a pale purple light on the pair. Vaarsuvius dismissed the spell with an emphatic wave. "An extremely successful lesson. I would advise you to study what I have already taught you about the different schools of magic, and consider a possible specialization."
"I shall make an effort to do so."
The elf left the clearing they had been using, wearing an oddly bemused look. Spock remained for a second as if considering something; then he too returned to the camp, his own spell blinking out as he left the range.