Thog/Ian Starshine

"Ah, poor man. Another one bites the dust, eh? Welcome to hell, friend…"

The small dungeon in the capital of Tyrinaria reverberated with the deep voice of the thief, as the new guy was thrown into the room by two guards.

"Where Nale? And Not-Nale? I like Not-Nale and Nale because Nale and Not-Nale give me ice cream. And Nale let me play with puppy. I miss puppy."

Aw, jeez. A half orc with int as dump stat… No deep philosophical conversations to pass the time here, then.

"You puppy?" As Ian Starshine crawled into the light, the bald fighter's face erupted into a vicious smile.

"You look like stupid girl Not-Nale and talky man likes!"

"Haley? Are you talking about Haley? Is she alive?"

As the half orc did not seem to notice, Ian's anger grew. Great. He was stuck here for ages with nothing to talk to but the stones of the wall (he had named them) and really, John never answered a question. Along comes a living creature who might know Haley, and it's too stupid to answer… what a life.

"Listen to me, half-orc. Is… Stupid Girl… alive?" Ian thought for a second. "Is Dark Mistress Shadowgale alive?"

"Yes… Thog think so. Nale try to kill stupid girl but Not-Nale beat Nale and Sabine. What happen in here? Thog want puppy back…

Exhaling in relief, Ian stood up and examined the features of "Thog"'s face. A little rough, but… cute. In a way.

"Well, I'll learn you how to make a shank, if you like. And probably, you'll want to know the current cigarette-gold exchange rate, and you'll need to make friends with John and Ernie, I've carved mouths on them and everything, and…"

As new talky man kept talking, Thog thought about puppies and ice cream. But Nale would come soon, and they would have a group hug and go to the Gumdrop Mountains!

"… and of course there's the shower rape."

Thog looked up. What had new talky man said?

"What shower rape, new talky man?"

Ian thought for a bit. Well, it was particularly cute, for being a half orc. And seriously, humping the stones on the floor wasn't very satisfying. Ian had a decent charisma score, and the will save of "Thog" was probably nonexistent.

"Well, Thog, I could tell you. But why don't I show you?"

Straddling the curious half orc, Ian slowly, with shivering hands, removed the clothes of them both, Thog still unknowing of what was to happen. Oh, it was a joy to do this with someone else than Mrs. Palm and her five daughters; and the half orc seemed to enjoy it too…

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