The Oracle heard a knock on the door.
"Come in." he said in an angry voice. How could they continue to disturb him during bath time? He laid duckie on the floor and promised this would be quick.
He went to the door and were stunned speechless. The most beautiful kobold women he had ever laid he's eyes on was in he's hallway. He turned to duckie and said "All promises off."
He turned around in perfect time to hear: “I want you to have sex with this woman. Now. “
He just now noticed the man the good looking gentleman walking behind her.
“What did you just say?” He wondered.
“Have sex with this kobold now or I will do something nasty to you.” The gentleman said.
The oracle got suspicious. Why would someone give him a woman?
“Is this payment for a prediction?” He asked with a shocked look in his eyes.
“Ohm, yes indeed.” The gentleman bluffed. Sadly he never was good at those and he rolled a natural one.
“Is it ok if I look in to the future to see what happens?” The oracle said.
“If you most.” The gentleman grumbled.
The oracle mumbled the chant rather calmly. He would not die to day.
“What will happen if I sleep with this kobold woman?” He asked to his five headed deity. And answered he got.
“Oh my god. So she is me gender bent from another world?”
“And you are a CE wizard from a scary place known as THE CRACK PARINGS THREAD?”
“But now I won’t have sex with her doesn’t that even bother you.”
“OH, it will happen. MASS THE ODORS KIND OF A MIND RAPE SPELL THAT STILL LEAVE YOU TOTALLY AWAERE OF WHAT’S HAPPENING. Crack paring thread deities spell powering.” He proudly pronounced while moving his hands over dramatically.
“What the hell was that?” The oracle screamed while he started walking towards the kobold woman that he now knew was himself.
“A home made mega spell for these moments like these.” He said while summing a couch and laid down.
Now the kobold was taking of each others clothes in a hot manner.
“That wasn’t as fun as I imagined. I Know.”
“OH, what now gonna summon that dragon killing mage to join us.” The Female Oracle asked in an angry voice.
“No I don’t have those spells but I have this. MASS THE ODORS FURIFIOUR. Crack paring thread deities spell powering.
At the same moment the pain of millions of tiny hairs exploded out through both Oracles scales. The female one had bright red while the male had blue
“Now that’s some good crack.” He said as the oracles screamed in pain. “Now get on with it.”
“This might make up for not posting in a while.”
----—Later that evening------
The oracle woke up in his bed with a scream.
“What an awful nightmare.” He said to himself. He looked around himself and saw a thin layer of blue hair.
“Oh .” He said and reached for the bottle of brain bleach in his night drawer.
----Mean while in an alternative universe---
“This is some good stuff now I will take some chips while before I upload.” The Odor says with an evil smile.