The IFCC/Zombie Dragon Head

Finally, once certain the action was over, the IFCC turned off the HD TV. Yellow Eyes stood and stretched (which for a fiend involves a lot more stretching than it would for a mortal).


"Well?" Orange Eyes asked.

"Suppose I had better go and organise a search for those souls."

"Hmm." Purple Eyes said distractedly, still looking contemplatively at the screen. "Er, you know when the elf was fighting the dragon…"



"And then reanimated the dragon's head?"

"We were watching too."

"Er, were either of you… a little bit turned on?"

There was an awkward silence.

"Now you mention it…" Orange Eyes hazarded.

"It certainly was rather attractive." Yellow said.

"I was thinking" Purple said "it would be such a shame to let that dead dragon go to waste."

There was another awkward silence, then:

"To the Fiend Mobile!"


The three fiends materialised on the mortal plane a few yards away from the cottage, under cover of the trees.

"Oh bless it, that elf's there." Orange said disgruntledly.

"Not to fear!" Yellow said "I have an idea!"

"What did I tell you about the rhyming?"

Ignoring Purple Eyes, Yellow was momentarily engulfed in yellow flame. When the smoke cleared, he was wearing-

"A police uniform? Are you nuts?"

"Actually, that might just work." Purple said, changing his robes to match.

"Fine, but we keep the hoods. I have a zit on my chin."

"If I were you, I'd be worrying more about the fungus on your eye-stalks."

"Shut up! It's a beauty accessory!"

A few moments later they strode confidently into the remains of the front garden. Inkyrius jumped, and stared up at the three tall figures.

"Er… hello? Who are you?"


"We're here about the dragon attack."

"We need to take the dragon's corpse away-"

"-for questioning."

"Oh." Inkyrius said, wide-eyed. "Er… but it's dead? Right?"

"Magical questioning."

"Oh. I see. Er, why are you so tall?"

The IFCC's hoods shifted slightly, as though they were all looking at each other for ideas.

"…It's a disease."

"Unstoppable growth."

"We all caught it over at the police station."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear it. There's a cleric in the village you know. Have you tried-"

"We have learnt to live with out ailment."

"Well, good for you I suppose."

The three members of the IFCC headed over to the dragon, lifting it effortlessly between them. "I found the head!" Purple yelled gleefully.

"Excellent." And without further ado they all plane shifted out, taking the dragon with them.

Inkyrius was left staring at the spot where they disappeared, then went inside and hid under what was left of the kitchen table in case anything else turned up today.


"Finally, I can get out of this stupid uniform." Yellow said, beginning to undo the shirt buttons.

"Actually" Purple said "I though maybe we could keep them on. At least to start with."

Yellow and Orange exchanged glances. "I certainly see the logic behind that."

"I do too."

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